Away From Reality

July 27, 2012

AFR #193 – Failure is the only option

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — tabulacandida @ 10:31 AM

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This is how it seems to go.  We heroes roll into town, get some quests to go forth and battle evil, fight the good fight, and so on.  We go out and do all that, and somehow along the way we screw everything up and then get a new bunch of quests to go fix everything we just mucked up.  Bad heroes, no biscuit!  The trouble is, it’s usually telegraphed pretty heavily in advance that whatever we’re about to do is a really bad idea, and yet we have to do it in order to complete our quests.  Blizzard’s idea of a hero is apparently a lunkheaded screw-up who blindly follows orders from any mustache-twirling low-life who pops up with an exclamation point over his head.  No wonder they think we need to have Harrison Jones swoop in and save us from ourselves.  Or maybe they’re just trying to remind us that we’re fallible mortals, unlike a certain blue-eyed Mary Sue we all know.

Worse yet, this appears to be pretty much the entire plot of Mists of Pandaria.  Bad heroes, no biscuit!


  1. I concur. Leveling has a large ‘How can you be so stupid you worthless fool’ component, and is shortly followed by raiding as a ‘Please save the world you heroic heros!’ The inconsistency of how the characters react throughout the stories told is very telling. For instance, our characters are willing to ride an explosive harpoon shot off the top of a cliff into town… but then turn into scary cats about a falling statue or two?
    Also, I don’t think that is a real page about Thrall. It doesn’t mention that he is the main character, or that he is secretly in charge of both the Horde and Alliance. It also fails to mention how he travels back in time to become one of the Titans.
    /sarcasm off
    Great comic, I love the npc response!

    Comment by Robert — July 27, 2012 @ 2:57 PM

    • Yeah, we PCs ride the see-saw pretty hard. “You defeated the epic monstrosity that was threatening to wipe out all life on this world! Great! Now go kill rats in my cellar!”

      Comment by wowafr — July 29, 2012 @ 9:38 AM

  2. After the Drakuru revelation in DTK I wanted to hit the auction house and pick up some gullibility resistance gear.

    Comment by Karl Gallagher — July 28, 2012 @ 9:28 AM

    • Oh good god, yes! The first time I did that questline in Grizzly Hills I had already been through Zul’Drak and Drak’Tharon Keep. I so wanted to say to Drakuru: “Look, I know who you are and what you’re up to. I’m not falling for it. You can stay in that cage and rot!” But, of course, the only way to do the quests and get the rewards is to play the schmuck.

      Comment by wowafr — July 29, 2012 @ 9:40 AM

  3. But surely nothing beats eating the berries or whatever they were from the bucket in Grizzly Hills….

    Comment by blackflame — July 30, 2012 @ 5:05 AM

    • yeah, that was pretty… nauseating. to say the least.

      Going back through Northrend again again again I hit the Kaluak/pirates bit about getting the blubber from Ol’ Rory and had to grit my teeth pretty hard to do it. I know I can’t open that daily unless I do, but it pisses me off and makes me want to throw something every time I then DO the daily. Seriously? If I wanted a guilt trip I’d go talk to my mom. I don’t play games to be recreationally guilt tripped TYVM.

      Comment by Ayshela — July 30, 2012 @ 12:19 PM

      • Heartily agreed to both.

        Comment by wowafr — July 30, 2012 @ 6:24 PM

      • /sign agreed
        I’ve actually stopped reading the quest text due to these kind of quests. I just go do it now. There’s little point to reading something when: 1. 40% chance of insult or pc being stupid. 2. 20% chance of poop joke (ok, maybe a little high there.) 3. 40% chance I am just getting told to kill a bunch of something anyway, and the reason is heartily mundane.

        I still think the Fel hound one, where you get the green aura, is the worst of the those. Amberseeds runs a close second for me. As for guilt trips… see a good portion of part number 1. So tired of feeling like the bad guy in this game!

        Comment by Robert — July 31, 2012 @ 2:23 AM

      • I’ll mention a rival here, this sort of thing is why I’ve had so much more fun levelling toons in swtor than wow. There, you do have moral decisions to make. Ok, most seem a magician’s bluff and you end up in the same place anyway, but you have the choice. To me, thats actually an MMORPG, while most of them now are just MMOG, there’s very little roleplaying left. So little in fact, most people assume the RP is just tank/dps/healer, not the original meaning of the phrase in the pen and paper games.

        Comment by blackflame — August 2, 2012 @ 5:09 AM

  4. Maybe they’ll add an option at the start of quests where you can bet “This is actually a bad guy or I bet he turns out to be pretty decent” where you get bonus loot if you’re right. It’d also force them to stop using the satyr model…

    Robert’s comment about not reading the quest text reminds me of friends and I playing Shinsengoku Musou 2 in Japanese… couldn’t read the quest text, we’d just look at the map, go to the arrow, and kill everything there. Worked most of the time, only needed help when the quest was actually “go to the arrow and make sure this person doesn’t die”


    Comment by ~LC — August 1, 2012 @ 12:40 PM

    • “I suspect Major Samuelson, in the throne room, with the candlestick!”

      Comment by wowafr — August 2, 2012 @ 8:22 AM

  5. Some questgivers just want to see the world burn…

    Comment by Serenais — August 3, 2012 @ 5:25 AM

  6. Thou Darest Mock Thrall!!

    Comment by Cray — August 3, 2012 @ 6:07 PM

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